Been trying to write this for almost two years but just could not get myself to find the right words. But there are no right words! No right way to live! So here goes.
Why is moving on really hard for some of us? Why is it easy for some of us? Or is it really easy for them or do they make it look easy.
We all at some point in our life have felt stuck. Holding on to a situation, problem, person, tragedy, well hey sometimes a good memory too. The world moves around us but the heart and soul holds onto something that was once dear to us, something that put a smile on our face or something that made us cry our hearts out . Why does that gem of a time in your life make you weak and numb now? Why is that when you think of it, you phase out, you lose your cool and what else, you are not just you for that split second.
The past does not matter anymore, they said. You shouldn’t be living in the past, it is not going to do you any good, they said. But it was everything I lived, worked, sacrificed and hoped for. Am I supposed to leave it all behind and get going? How is that even possible? Or is it? Do you leave it all behind or hold on to bits and pieces.
Okay now that’s a lot of questions. Where the hell are my answers?
Hang tight guys things are going to get cliche and/or philosophical, it’s your call.
So the answer is YOU. You are the answer to everything you feel right now, everything you felt before and everything you might feel tomorrow. You have been through the past yourself and no one better knows how much you cared for someone or something in the past. You have given your heart and soul to it. So you can be the only person who can help lift yourself from it.
It's not going to be a cakewalk, it's going to be a lot of sleepless nights, pointless days, frustration. Well it’s just going to be hard.
We all have been through things, great ones, not so great ones. Ones that you would like to cherish, ones that you would like to forget. Ones that make you wanna laugh, the other make you wanna put your fist through the wall. Some things gave you the best lessons, some changed you as a person. You had you all through this, every part of this you had to carry yourself in and out of every situation. If you could get through all of that you could do this too. You owe yourself that much. You are going to be strong to get through anything. There is nothing that is going to help you push forward than your heart and mind.
It’s like taking in a deep breath and just holding it in. We just need to let go of things that have to be out. Embrace whatever that has been bothering you. Accept things the way they are. The more you deny it, the heavier it gets on you. Distract yourself, keep your mind and heart busy so you have something else to think about other than the thing you shouldn't. Take your time to accept things the way they are, the more you resist and push the situation, the more it pushes you back. Acceptance is the key.
Find yourself an anchor, something that helps your stay put. A pole to hold on until the storm passes. It can be anything, anyone, any habit, any weird routine, anything that can help your focus. Something that makes you calm, makes you forget everything around you and helps you hold your ground. But at the same time it has to be something constructive, not something that gets you out of one pit but pushes you into another. I think we are all capable of finding ourselves a good deed that keeps us going forward and not the opposite, y’all know what I mean.
Isolation. Pretty strong word isn't it?
How many of us in our lives have isolated ourselves to escape a situation. Trying to get over it. Why do we need to get through it when you don’t have to be a part of it? Simple ain’t it?
Yeah, it is. Sometimes we deny ourselves from a problem so as to not be affected by it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does. I am going to put the blame on luck this time. Sometimes we get lucky to have isolated ourselves and escape the situation, but it’s not going to be the same every time. The least we can do is be prepared for what is to come than to shun it away. Isolation is good for the preparation part of the journey but once you are on the court you have to drive in, take the hit and still be going for that lay up to get the ball in the basket.
Sometimes we need to get our guards up high sometimes we have to let our guard now. Sometimes a thorn can make us weep, sometimes we get ambushed by a gun fire but still manage a smile on our face. It’s always in us to decide the path we choose, whichever makes us get through the tunnel. In the process we don’t lose ourselves. You always come back to where you belong, that should be the mission. To get home.
Cry a River
Build a Bridge